Get gorgeous, or stay ugly?

Salam everyone.

How's the search for lailatul Qadr for us muslims so far? insyaAllah may it'll be our rezeki to get it and His blessings for allowing it to be found. Amin.

For my non-muslim friends who might be unaware of this special night, it is actually a night that is said to be better than 1000 months in terms of pahala and rewards! It is the night where the Quran was sent down to our beloved prophet Muhammad! So we weren't given an exact time as to when exactly this night occurs, but we were given clues that it will be in the last 10 days of Ramadhan.

So if you notice some of your colleagues appearing slightly tired than usual at work lately, it's a big possibility he or she has been up most of the time trying to catch this very blessed night! unless, they have already told you of their activity via facebook status or twitter, AT THAT VERY TIME. heh. Speaking of which, this is what i want to jot down as a reminder specially for me for this post. Simply because i myself am in the middle of this phase of "self improvement". and it's by observing others, that made me realize that the transition of beautifying one's self can be pretty ugly. 

You know when a person changes something about them, they have this phase of sharing everything to the world to the level of arrogant boasting before quietened down and possibly never to be heard again after receiving "eh macam lar bagus sangat!" comments after? well not all end up like that of course. the chosen ones emerge better and victorious later! Noticed the 2 negative extremes that the devil wants you to be trapped in? But the goal is only one. And that is to make you fail or stop from becoming that better person and to be stuck forever in one of those extremes so it will be your outcome! But fret not peeps!  these extremes are very NORMAL bila somebody nak jadi baik/bagus. Tak caya? let's take one example of a person changing to wear the hijab:

1. I baru pakai hijab. i'm gonna tell the world i've hijrah by changing my profile pic. People liked it. I've got 100 likes and great comments. i feel awesome. so now i'm going to share how my life changed after wearing it. i feel good. oh but i don't have enough hijab to wear and they'll see me wear the same ones on instagram. oh tak boleh jadi ni. i'm going online shopping. oh wow there's alot of hijab styles. euwww why so short and transparent? i'd better tweet about this. this is so wrong. euwww now look at those wearing it but with tight clothes. i'm gonna blog about this. Apa masalah they all ni? ingat tutup aurat ni main2 ke apa? i got 500 likes and retweets on my thoughts/sarcasm about it. i'm sooo better than those who wore it longer before me.

haaaaaaaaa!! jahat tak jahat si devil ni???  ok now let's take a look at the other extreme pulak:

2. i rasa nak berhijab. tapi, nak kena buat betul2. baju2 lama dah tak boleh pakai. ruginya my MNG and zara tu. nak kena beli tudung lagi. mahalnyer lar tudung2 ni they jual. i tak nak pulak pakai yang sarung2 tu. i still want to look pretty and stylish. tapi i'm not a bad person pun. it's just tak pakai tudung jer coz most of the time, i tak lar pakai sexy2 sangat. plus pakai hijab ni pun tak semestinya orang tu baik lagi than me. tengok minah yg update status fb dia ni. baru jer pakai, tp dah sindir2 orang macam dia born with the hijab plak. lupa ker dia dulu pun tak pakai jugak? i don't even segregate people yg pakai tudung from yang tak pakai or treat them differently. yang penting hati dia baik. tak perlu nak pakai tudung nak jadi baik. i tak nak jadi macam minah tu. so, nanti lar dah kawin baru pakai. bila husband suruh.

hahaaa!!!! seeeeeeeeee??? I'm telling you, it's all the devil's whispers to you to be doing either one of this! and notice the 2 extremes of actions? this is just one example lar. ada banyak lagi and nearly always it happens to benda-benda yang baru for that person to belajar, ie. baru jadi a mom, baru jadi doctor, baru baca stuff related to agama anddd macam-macam lagi. all will go through these phases. Percayalar! Now the tricky part is, will these phases end? or will we be stuck in either one forever?

I ask myself why does this have to happen? why can't we get it right the first time? since i didn't get the answer, i asked hubby plak. (Haha!) And he said this is part of change/learning itself. It's like learning something for the first time, say riding a bike. you're guaranteed to fall at first try. in fact, you'd fall so many times after! before you finally master it and hardly fall anymore. or better still, you're able to control most of your falls! So in dakwah or calling people to do good, you'd have cacat cela to do it initially before perfecting it later on. Going to both extremes before reaching the equilibrium. (his exact words). but yang penting, if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again. *cue aaliyah's music!* eehh! What i meant is, keep going at it and don't give up. like how you really wanted to ace riding that bicycle.

wuish. best tak best jawapan tu! best tak best hubby saya? ok. don't answer that. i don't want to know. ehem!

So since it's normal, we have to admit how flawed we all are. and that we need to always improve ourselves. constantly. Coz if we don't do change, and just stay where we are, as a person, we will deteriorate. And this is bertentangan dengan fitrah for us muslims. coz we are suppose to change for the better. plus pernah ckp dengan orang yg asyik buat benda sama jer? boring kan?! And bayangkan when it comes to personal development. Their souls are empty and they lack appeal. Like a zombie! 

And another thing, always do it (change) because of Allah. insyaAllah if that's the aim, we don't care at what bad things other people say about us. we take in the constructive criticism and sangka baik that Allah is guiding us indirectly through their harsh comments to betulkan our dakwah method. Coz maybe kita terlupa diri kan? macam contoh satu di atas. so bagus jugak ada 'haters' ni. But not all boleh pakai lar. Some are there simply to give us their free pahala from all those hates! And if depa tak banyak pahala dah nak bagi, depa amik dosa kita pulak! So they also become indirect forms of motivation for you to keep doing good! takder rugi apa2 puuunn! Hehe. They're just a different type of 'fans' really. But a fan nevertheless! ;P

Although, looking back at some tweets and status updates i've made, i've regretted at how i conveyed some of the messages. It could have been better (of coz!). And i admit, i too fell trapped pretty deeply at some points of this learning curve. But what's important is that i realize it, keep learning and continue doing it. Why?

Coz i want to be able to cycle my way to jannah nanti. With super awesome speed and without falling insyaAllah! =)