Wednesday, May 30, 2012

"Seasoned" with love...

My dearest Yusuf,

You're fast asleep while i'm blogging this. But i want you to know that today was the first time your tokdang and moyang, my grandparents, came over to stay at our place for the night! You are their first great grandson because i'm their first cucu!

It was nice to have them over. But it did open mommy's eyes wider when i get to observe some things and hopefully stay as a lifelong lesson. You see, your great grandpa is verrryyy forgetful lately. Which is quite common amongst old people. However, it kinda deteriorate since the last time i saw him. He kept asking mommy your name, and how old you are. Not even 30minutes apart! There was also a question if you are my son! Plus, i just found out he even forgot he was at our place!!! sedih and kesian sangat. :'(

But you both had a lot of fun together tho! He really liked playing with you! And you had quite a few chatty moments with him! Although there was this one incident where he panicked coz you were crying and mommy was in the loo. So he accidentally screamed for me and that kinda shocked you and made you cry even louder. But i calm you down and told you that he has hearing problems too. That and not been handling a baby for a very long time as well. But you were fine once i held you. ;)

Seeing your tokdang makes me think of my fate if i were to be blessed till old age. Will i be a healthy and able old woman? I know people pray for a long life a lot, but to live long with an aging body and forgetfulness? Doesn't sound that appealing. Albeit death is a scary thing too and certain! I know the reason God made the religiously-knowledgeable people die early. So that they won't live thru old age becoming debilitated. Especially what they were famously known for and have contributed to society. So by dying young, God help save their reputation during their prime time. Rather than letting them be senile and amnesic, instead they remain memorably venerable. But seeing this happening to him in front of me, even for just a day, makes me realize i have to modify my prayer.

I now pray for a barakah (blessed) life. If it's long, i really hope it's filled with barakah. And there's also this prayer our prophet teaches us to read everyday. And it goes "bless me with a healthy body, ears and eyes" and "protect me from the laziness of old age". I'm sure besides being pure lazy, it also entails to still be able to do good when you're old. Because if one does not have a healthy body and mind, one might be lazy to just do good because of the disabilities or from demotivation. Not on purpose.

So insyaAllah, mommy and daddy will be granted with a healthy and blessed life. Of course, there are ways to slow-down forgetfulness and maintain agility when one is old. I guess i have to read it up and start doing it now. Both me and daddy. So that we won't be an indirect burden to you in future.

May your tokdang has a barakah life too. InsyaAllah.

Mommy loves you baby. Nite2.

Yusuf with tokdang and moyang!!

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