Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mothers knows best. Really?

Its 1am in the morning. Prolly another prelude to a sleepless night. No. It's not because of Yusuf. In fact he's sleeping soundly now. It's just his mommy. Whose pretty stressed up lately. Not because of him either. But of other people.

Mothers knows best. Really? Are u sure? Coz if you are, you would agree to most of the decisions she makes right? I mean there must be a reason someone came up with this phrase. You don't know "fathers knows best" or "grandparents knows best" or "aunties/uncles knows best" do you? But still, why do i get the feeling these other people wanting to claim that they know it best? And for MY child???

I mean seriously. Some of you had your mothering chance with your 1 or 2 or 10 kids. Why the need to bother with other people's? Man, ive said this before. Repeating it is kinda lame lar. And worst, i find it hard getting support for my "motherly" decisions. Why all so "berlumba-lumba" to make me feel incompetent to decide what's best for MY child? In simpler words, why go all out to make me feel like a failure?

"alaaa! Baru pukul 12 malam! Pandai-pandai lar dia tido nanti! Why nak balik awal sangat?"

"eh, nanti dia penat dia pandai lar tido! Kita kena biasakan memang kena belajar keluar dari siang ke malam!"

"jangan dukung-dukung dia sangat. Biar dia dalam baby cot tu."

Aaaaaaaaarrrrghhhh!!! Seriously. I feel like strangling someone right now. No joke. All of the above has happened to me. Tell me where in that sentence denotes that they acknowledge my RIGHTS as a mother? Or better still, where does it comply to "mothers knows best"? Where's the support?

The only thing i can think to keep my sanity (and not end up murdering someone) is that Allah is testing me at this "new" job i've decided to devote myself into. Technically, i have no "physical" boss to monitor my performance or promote me to a better level. So He is there to show the results of my performance. And also to give me challenges that i never knew existed in this form for this job. All the while i was thinking of sleepless nights, diaper change, and feeding as the ultimate obstacles.

But clearly, i was wrong. It turned out i can handle those things because of the practice i had to multitask without a wink of sleep as a houseman. So it makes the similitude of minding a baby a piece of cake. So what gives? Its the people around me. The constant "you don't know anything" vibes they give. And the "all you do is just sit around and hold the baby" impression they showed. And not to mention the "i want to get her son as far away from the mother as possible" intention they have. And you wouldn't believe from whom i'm getting these things from.

Sure, i know some people (if not one) would say i'm being dramatic. And that i'm overreacting. Whatever. Call me anything you want. I'll be a ruthless bitch if i have to to just DO MY JOB as a MOTHER TO MY CHILD properly. Did it ever crossed their minds that what i'm doing doesn't even involve them at all? Like, i wanna go home becoz my 2 MONTH OLD son want to sleep and get the rest that he so rightly deserved for his good health like any other below 1 year old babies get?! Don't drag us out in the first place lar!

Im just jealous and pissed that other parents get to move only when their son/daughter is up or hurriedly go back home earlier than the usual hangout time they did as just a couple because their son/daughter is tired. So much for always wanting to be different! And when i voice it out im considered whining or a party pooper.

Moms knows best? Yeaah right. Apparently not to all. Prolly coz their moms didn't know best but they're in denial. Then decide to do it to other people's kids now that they are more "free" to actually "mind a child"!. Pity their kids for all the lost mothering. Then sibuk nak jadi mak anak orang lain! Im writing this just as my personal public reminder. That i admit i might not know everything "best". But at least i want to learn. so just let me be dammit!!!

I'm also gonna make it a point to not repeat this atrocious behaviour to my daughter-in-law or my own daughter if i were to be blessed with one. And i'll teach Yusuf to respect a woman as well. Because the difference between a man without exemplification in his family but learn it on his own, compared to one being taught in his family and also learn it on his own, the quality is much better in the latter.

There. Ive let it out. My frustrations and anger for the world to see. I might regret writing this someday. But who the heck cares about me or what i do anyway. They already showed it by invading and stripped me of my rights as a new, willing to learn mom. So what more a blog post.

So now i just lie here. Watching my son sleeping peacefully. And smiling to myself.

Filled with tears.


  1. I guess we as mothers have to learn to ignore such people. I wouldnt call them douchebags because most of them can actually be related to us, but sometimes u feel like calling them that, right?

    sometimes their comments make u feel inadequate, like you dont know what ur doing, and that upsets you. i get it. i've been there before. but i try to ignore them, because seriously? getting (too) upset about it just tires me out. at the end of the day, IT'S MY KID. them annoying people can just keep on staring at me and commenting to high heavens until they're blue in the face -- i don't care really.

    hang in there fatin.

    1. thanks a lot shairil. ur right. i seriously need to master this ignoring thing. and obviously He does know my weaknesses best. so whatever i choose to do, this ends up being my obstacle to master that cool quality. sigh.