Friday, March 11, 2011

Gladiator ME!!!

Salam to all...

i’m sure some of you are looking forward for the weekend to arrive (like me!), for we thank god it’s friday nearly all the time! but unlike today, friday didn’t start of well for me. And i decided some venting out here wouldn’t hurt, since my blog title IS allowing me to trip emotionally! And by the title, you can bet it is gonna get nasty!!

The morning was dark... wait.... scratch that. It was a bleak and fairly wet friday morning. the drizzles definitely didn’t bother me at all for i know it is the last day of the working week for me. so all is good. As usual, i thought i’d be heading to a quiet clinic filled with laid-back staff, intermixed with stressed up ones, and not to mention the daily dose of your common illnesses-infected patients with a few chronic disease appointment defaulters. But i was wrong. oh so wrong. Instead i was heading to a very mini Colosseum, filled with angry and anxious supporters and audience. And yeap! you’d definitely know who your gladiators are. today’s fight involves a male, messed-up doctor versus a meek but loud-mouth female one. not so much of an equivalent right? but who says fights have to be fair anyway?

Meek, loud-mouth doctor no. 1, who we shall refer to as, ehem, well, ME! was ordered to stand in for my current boss whose on her maternity leave now. I have been given this order to manage the clinic as the one in charge exactly a month ago, and therefore i need to submit a few papers to the head office regarding my replacement. So. The battle starts with preceding political espionage whereby i was accused of being power crazy to take over my bosses’ place. You see, my boss’s grade is UD54. and i’m UD44. there’s 2 ranks in between: UD48 and UD52. (this is government ppl talk peeps, try to catch up). With this, our pay also differs. and in quite a substantial amount too! Therefore u can guess that our “buddy” here is obviously somewhere in between. He is in fact, a UD52. So technically, he was also supposed to be the one in line to fill in for boss. So why didn’t he? why me instead?

Believe it or not, it’s not because i’m awesome or anything (bummer!), but the first reason is that he is new to the clinic (6 months old), whereas i’ve been here for nearly one and a half years. and boss justified it by saying i know about the clinic programs more than he does. coz believe it or not, he never participates or even want to know any of it pun! second reason being, he wanted to leave the clinic anyways. for he didn’t like working there and feels like he’s waiting for that call to leave any minute of the day! this one came from him countless times, when I offered him again from the first week i took charge and again last week. And guess what. i had to kinda hear it again today. Take note that relieving this post, one is entitled allowance as much as 1/4 of the person’s pay you’re relieving! who wouldn’t want that right? i wouldn’t. not if i knew what i’m about to face in a few mintues. So this is when the actual battle begins...

I received an email from boss regarding my relief letter to inform the Director. She has also apparently made a letter for mustache guy here (i had to pick a name!) that he doesn’t want the post in the first place. and therefore the responsibility is passed on to me. When i entered his “dungeon” to pass the letter, he had that oblivious look on his face saying he don’t know about any letter. (keep in mind, he was informed earlier to write one on why he didn’t want to be the boss, and he actually said “let the boss do it and i’ll sign). Instead he said this:

Him: what is this?

Me: this is the letter on your behalf that you reject the post by boss. U need to sign it and i have to submit it to pengarah by next week.

Him: no. its not that I don’t want. You wanted it!

Me (still shocked by his obvious madness! *slaps forehead!*): eh! really?? i dont! i offered you many times! i prefer not to do it! ok! you can take over now if u want! i really won’t mind!

Him (still wacko): no. i don’t want it! i’m not gonna be long here. i’m leaving this place. you do it!

ok. i’m sure you wouldn’t want me to convince his retardation of this whole thing anymore. it’s like practically talking to a demented... bull! wait. goat more like! But i had to endure it as much as i didn’t want to. then he agreed to sign it but after a few editing. with that i submitted a leave form for him to sign for one day at the end of the month and that he did. Just after a few minutes, his dementia came back. He told me to cancel of the leave form as HE wanted to take leave that day. UNBELIEVABLE! so he dismissed me to tell me to get the other colleague to sign it. and before i could say anything else, he left his own room. and so i left the edited letter on his table.

I managed to then get the other doctor to sign my leave form. Again! and now, He sent in 2 leave forms for 2 different-days application. One of which i signed and the other, of course, my colleague didn’t! why? coz she can’t possibly stand in for 2 people! and the scenario of an army of patients with just one doctor can be quite horrendous!! After knowing he didn’t get that day approved... here comes the climax of all immaturities i have ever known in my adult life!.... He threatened not to sign my submission letter!!! Aaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! why me???????!!!! i can’t obviously sign for you you douchebag! *hyper-stressed wei!!*

To cut the battle short, i went for the surrender tactic. Lame, i know! first come first serve right? but you can never win a fair fight with an undiagnosed demented schizo patient. NEVER! so i managed to coaxed the not-yet-battered-ego contender to sign it. And my form was signed. *sigh*... but just as i thought the chaos and madness was over, i was in for an even bigger shock. He had ran away from the colosseum at 11am (which is still working hours btw, lunch is at 1215pm), left his patients unattended... i mean... his audience, who are all roaring angrily now... just to call me at the clinic phone to restart the battle from far. I don’t know where he was, space probably. And the meteors showered over me. Filled with abusive, offensive words. it shot me straight all over, especially the most sensitive part of all in me... no. not my heels like achilles. but my heart. my emotions to be exact. the thing that made me a woman i am. 

I admit, my heart is not, and never made of stone. or steel. or even diamonds, as much as i want them to. Verbal name callings and false accusations that even sharing with all of you here is just too unbearable. and embarrassing. It makes my heart race, and my hands cold and trembling, at that moment, and when i think about it afterwards. Cruel? yes. And what kind of a man would do that to any woman. Ada. a crazy one. I wanted to even report to the police fearing for my life being in danger from some lunatic. he didn’t even spare me the time to explain when he falsely accuse that i signed his leave inappropriately without my name chop. And that was not even my signature! I guess he was just pissed off at me. For many possible reasons which were not brought to light professionally. For how was i to know? i could never read anyone’s mind directly. no one can.

My last comeback move was to call upon my guardian force. my angel on earth. My husband. He calmed me down and told me not to make any sudden/hasty actions. Instead, i was told to head straight home and he’ll handle it. He simply asked for his contact number. I did just that, but with much retaliation. You see, i was worried for his safety. It’s not that mustache man is gonna beat the crap out of him, for it will be his ass that will be dead meat on Mr B’s hands! its just that i don’t want to endure anymore trouble going to work in future. But later i found out, that it was wrong of me to doubt my hubby’s ability at handling these situations. He’s way more professional and better at it than me. Note to self: shut up and follow Mr B’s orders in battle situations. ;)

At home, i tried to calm down. I also went to seek help and comfort from the all-knowing, and the One who never fails to listen and help His servants. The Almighty. Within a few minutes of remembrance and prayer, i was at a moment’s peace. and actually dozed off awhile. He knew exactly that was what i needed at the time. Until a call from my other colleague woke me up to inform that she saw my husband waiting at the clinic. This of course, he never told me lar kan! then i just waited. nervously. And doubting if mustache man is ever showing up coz he’s infamously known for coming late after lunch or even just disappeared into thin air totally. Surprisingly, he showed up. after one hour. How i know? coz one of my staff called me when hubby and him were both in his room. it’s like receiving a live telecast of a boxing match. except there were no boxing.

I waited. Fidgeting. Then i received a call from Mr B. and upon hearing his voice that was so soothing and calm, I immediately know he had won the battle! I prompt him to spill out every detail, but being a professional hero, he said that there was nothing to worry about anymore and it’s all been taken care of. He said mustache man conveyed his apologies to me and promised that he won’t ever do that to me again. And Mr B made sure that he gets the subtle threat if he so much so tries to even think it! (ok. that last bit was a bit exaggerating! but he definitely got the message.). Of course, Mr B then told me to rest for he’s on his way to the office and that he’s late. Damn you mustache man! you made him late! and being the gentleman that he is, Mr B didn’t mind and that I was more important to him to have this quiet but killer duel. And alhamdulillah, he emerged victorious!

So there you have it. my longest rambling ever. It is even cut short compared to what had really happened. And i’m sure Mr B might not agree that i equate this to a roman gladiator battle, but believe me sayang, i agree with you and you are right. It is not about winning or losing anything. It’s about working things out sensibly and achieving a final outcome that is beneficial and good for all. Because shame on me to be listening to my ego entirely and aiming to “win” a self-turning situation into some kind of competition or battle. For that would make me somewhat similar to the mustache man. IMMATURE.

After realizing i might just have carved this piece of history to stone in the webspace, and probably get fired up every time i’ll read it, i’m hoping for it to reflect and remind me of the lessons i’ve learned this very day. For God has just answered my prayers last night when i asked for His help to improve my ways of handling difficult people. And voila! He gave me just that for me to practice to become wiser and stronger. And soon fearless... 

just like a real .... gladiator!!! =)

With that, i end my post and would like to ask you:

Are you not entertained??!!

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