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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Chronicles of Naa!

I guess i must be quite desperate to admit to be doing this. I finally gave in to the method of "tricking" Yusuf to stop breastfeeding. What he would call "Naa".

At first i was going with the "explaining" method, which has cut down his frequency to just nap time and for sleep. I told him that his time for naa is up for Allah only said it is for 2 years since birth. And since yesterday he turned 2 years 2 months, and that the baby is on the way, i didn't see any improvement of total surrender, thus made me decided (with a heavy heart!) to resort to this idea.

Trust me, the look on his face when i smeared coffee paste on them naas. It must have tasted horrible for he was disgusted! And then he innocently asked me "adik? Adik?" "Yes sayang, it is now for adik. U don't like it?" "Tutup. Tutup." sambil pulling down my top to cover me. Then he bent down to my tummy and kissed it while calling out "adik!"

Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I yang sedih! I yang nanges!!! Honestly i am the one that finds it hard to part with him from suckling! He tried to distract himself by doing something else but at times he would ask me "naa?" And when i showed it and he saw the coffee paste, he said "dirty! Dirty! No naa. Tutup. Tutup." Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Of course it took him a long while to soothe himself to sleep coz of the sudden "loss" of comfort source. Most of the time he would look lost, doing things just to fill his time or prolong it so that he will tire himself to sleep. Then  there was this one incident where he would throw a tantrum so bad that nothing is soothing him! And he has never cried that frantically! To which i surrendered and gave him. And he calmed down and slept immediately. It's like seeing someone who is having smoking withdrawal symptoms! Tak tentu arah betul! Dasyhat!!!

Mana taknyer. Naa was EVERYTHING to him since he came out to this world. And i mean EVERYTHING. Nak tido naa. Lapar naa. Baring manja2 naa. During our holiday trip to London last year was an obvious example. He was enjoying himself simply because he was carried around in the jumpsac carrier MOST of the time with me and his face was just inches away from my boobs. So technically that's like freeflow starbucks if you must! Nak jer, bukak and feed. While walking, on the tube, during my meals. Like anytime, anywhere!


So i can only imagine how hard this must be for him. :( luckily so far, i've managed to keep my cool, despite being very heavy with baby inside and easily tired, i try to entertain his withdrawal period. It's not easy for i feel like losing it at times, but i seriously cannot blame him. He's only 2 for God's sake! If org besar yg malas nak quit smoking buat perangai mcm tu mmg i tak pikir dua kali lar nak lempang!

So insyaAllah i can foresee that if he successfully go thru this, which he will, he will handle other stuff in life which are of lesser importance with great victory. Amazing how Allah trains the human being! From the tender age of 2, we are put to a test to depart from what we want most. To teach us to know the difference from wants and needs and be patient about it! For naa was once a need to survive for all mankind (even in most animals!). But after 2 years, it has turned into a want. An unnecessary luxury if given more than the required time. And like all unnecessary luxuries, it leads to bad things. Tak caya? Try lar breastfeed them till 4, 5 or till standard 1 sekali pun. Trust me when the examples of bad things are many! Mostly regarding psychosocial behaviour of the kid when he grows into adulthood. I'm just lazy to put it all here. Rajin2 lar google.

Senang cerita, let's just try not to memandai-mandai lar with God's rules. He ordained 2 years pun dah susah and liat for some. Macam2 alasan yg tak di-category under "valid to stop" pun dah di-stopkan. So tak payah lar soal and say suckling longer will have better benefits. For a specific ruling on breastfeeding in the Quran sila rujuk Al-Baqarah ayat 233. Nak stop breastfeeding is not something He allows senang2 ok! And padah dia besar coz He warns that the mom and dad will be answerable to Him on the day of Judgement nanti. Pasal breastfeeding jer ok kena menghadap! This is that important to remind us that He even put a ruling on behalf of the weak for their God-given rights to live! In this case babies and their mommies' milk!

so I'm sure you can guess "malas" memang bukan alasan yang valid tak nak menyusu! Sila takut please! Of course this doesn't include those who are unfortunate to not be able to breastfeed their child optimally from other reasons. But let's be realistic sekejap. Takkan the majority of failure to try 2 years is because of memang takder rezeki jer? If mcm tu why bother Allah highlight it in the Quran since more than 50% of moms around the world having problems to feed that long?? tak logic kaaaann! If susah sangat dah should fall under category sunat jer menyusu ni. So sebenarnya memang effort masing-masing to do it. This of course include the rajin-ness to seek the knowledge He has prepared for us to be able to do it for 2 years, consistent doas and the right intention (niat) to do it for Him.

The benefits of trying to adhere to this rule i must say is vast and immense! And the reward that one gets now pun dah sangat2 awesome! Apatah lagi yg dah mmg reserved for points collection in the akhirat nanti! Yang i dearly love would be our bonding together as mother and son. Bila ckp pasal bonding jer semua mothers will justify theirs are also great and takder problem with or without breastfeeding adequately. The standard statement would be "anak i sayang jer i!" Yeee. I tak cakap bonding tu sama dengan sayang. Look up the dictionary if u have to. But dunno lar. I'm not here to buktikan dari segi QC measurements on how your kid bonds with you compared to mine. But it will definitely show lar sooner or later. And not so much to show it off to people. The results akan dirasa oleh YOU sendiri with your kid. So different people will have different standards regarding this mother-child affection issue. Jangan you lower it just to sedapkan hati sudah. Like "i mmg tak manjakan dia and not the type nak lovey-dovey ni!" Haaa. Tahu sgt defensive ayat tu! Sebab masa dating dgn husband suka jer bila dimanja-manja kan? Tapi bila anak mcm tak kisah, dah ok plak dah. Itu lar pentingnya not to follow human standards in being happy in this life. Let alone survive this life! Memang standards Allah is the best. And He even teaches us how to attain that. Cuma nak ikut tak ikut jer. Or malas or rajin. So the amount of rewards you reap is directly proportional to what you invest in lar senang citer. And jangan cakap lar pasal bonuses yang dah berlambak2 Allah bagi. Dah wajib sangat we be eternally grateful indeed.

May He ease this journey for Yusuf and i. For i want to be fair to adik as well. I pray that she gets the breastmilk exclusively to herself for 2 years without having to share it iA. Anything to avoid the 2nd child syndrome. 

Latest update: he has made it without naa since 2 days ago! Alhamdulillah. My baby is a big boy now! Tp he did ask for it sometimes. And when i showed it to him, he just smiles and say adik again. At times he rubbed his face against it like manja2 when hugging me. But tadi he actually bent close to try and suckle but i stopped him. Then i tak sampai hati coz i did that! So i told him he can give it a wee peck. And so he did. Then i hugged him so hard saying i love him! He simply smiled and carried on playing. 


Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!


Totally feeling this right now! =(

An exaggeration, i hope! haha!

4 comments:

  1. Now that you are weaning him off slowly, are you giving him formula milk or fresh milk?

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    1. Im giving him fresh goat's milk babe! Yg brand nubian tu. Dah start bagi when he turned 2 aritu. Konon nak stop awal. Tp tu lar he still nak for comfort like naps etc. So far he loves the milk!

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  2. Totally understand your feeling..sebab Afif pun sekarang mcm tu..susu i totally kering on my 3rd moth of pregnancy..sgt depressed coz i still nak continue bf him walau prgnant but takde rezeki..maybe because i pumping kat ofis, kalau totally df mybe susu ade lagi,,sobsob!!and the bonding u are saying in your post yes, it is indeed soooo wonderful..i rase only breastfeeding mommy je yg paham la...and I plan to tandem nurse both of them nanti, semoga Allah izinkan.

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    1. Wow!!! Semoga dipermudahkan for you babe! I mcm terpikir jugak tp i takut i tak larat. Sigh. Kesian tgk kan? But yg penting we tried our bestest. The outcome iA berserah to Him for yg terbaik.

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