Thursday, October 21, 2010

Are you in Control, my Queen?

"darling, can u send me to my appointment today?"
" why dear? can't you go by yourself?"
"err.. yes. but can't you help me? besides, i'm not familiar with the new place to go to."
"yes sayang. but u see. what if i'm not around. how will you go about it then?"
"take a cab i guess. but aren't you free anyway? why don't you wanna help me? don't you care about me anymore?"
"it's not that i don't care love. but i want you to be independent. I am going to die one day. We all will. and i have no intentions in leaving an unempowered woman behind."

*mumbling* "well ok then. i'll take the cab." *mumbles again.*

That was an actual conversation depicted from a friend of mine with his wife. We were discussing on the fact that women needs visible affection from their husbands to feel loved (at least i do!), whereas men don't need to show affection everytime to express their undying love for us. at first i was a bit cynical and couldn't comprehend on why men couldn't just understand that part of us and give in to harmless things such as comforting words, romantic gestures or even a simple hug when we're down?

"you mean when YOU"RE down??" he asked sarcastically.
"whaddya mean by that?"
"you see, if your hubby is gonna layan your kerenah everytime, then when you need him, you know you just have to cry and then he''ll come running. Do you know any resemblance to that kind of behaviour?"

"dammit!" i whispered. "yeah yeah! you wanna call me a big baby lar right?"
still not satisfied, i retorted "that means you don't love your woman as much as before you got married then? why must the 'manja-manja' or romance be shortlived?"

"it isn't shortlived! and it is still love! it's what you call TOUGH LOVE." he replied.

hmm... that phrase got to me for a mo. then he continued.

"let me give you an analogy. my wife and I are both managers. of a big company! (coz we have 2 kids!). so if the management goes wrong or not in sync, then the whole company will fall. and if one manager retires, he's got to leave behind a strong manager to govern the company when he's gone right?"

and you know what. it was then that i realized that i didn't do much on my part to understand and embrace the differences we both man and woman have. or maybe i forgot about it. i also know that i need to grow up. He was right. in fact he might have hit the nail on some of our heads! Different phases of our lives will provide difference learning experiences. thus the need to adapt, learn to cope and then habitualize. once its a habit, it will then becomes and enriches your character. A wiser man told me that one. ;)

and before i end, here's another great advice he told me:

" a man who is happy at work, will be great in his personal relationships.
  and when a woman has great personal relationships, she will be happy at work."

i couldn't agree more to this statement. but somehow it's not applicable to me. not yet. because, i have a great relationship with hubster. but am still not entirely happy at work. i guess it's the kind of work that applies here. once i've achieved the work that i'm devoted to, i will sure be great at it, insyaAllah.

For i've been told to have lots of potential in being great. I just have to continue to believe it myself and make it REAL. Again and again! ;P

As they say ladies, we HAVE to embrace the differences!!

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