Ad-Duha

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Compassionate.

1. I swear by the forenoon,
2. And by the night when it becomes peaceful,
3. Your Lord has neither forsaken you, nor has become displeased.
4. Surely the Hereafter is much better for you than the present life.
5. And of course, your Lord will give you so much that you will be pleased.
6. Did He not find you an orphan, and give you shelter?
7. Did He not find you lost and guide you?
8. Did He not find you in need and made you self-sufficient?
9. So do not be harsh with the orphan
10. And do not chide the one who asks for help
11. Talk about the blessings of your Lord.

Sadaqallahu'l azim.

Definitely one of the many favourite surahs of mine. May it benefit us all insyaAllah.

Dear baby girl...

Salam my dearest Maryam.

You're only about to enter the 3rd month of your life here on earth. and so many things have happened around you, be it good or bad. As of right now, these are the things that have been taking over my timeline:

1. Final nights of Ramadhan

2. Gaza under attack

3. ANOTHER MAS tragedy

Not in timeline:

4. Your first trip overseas. Singapore still counts sayang.

5. Uncle Farid got engaged

And that doesn't include the transition of your beloved brother Yusuf to becoming the now-accepting and loving brother to you. I'm glad coz i don't think i can handle anymore of his jealous streaks and tantrums before. i know you're loving his smothering and kisses right?

Well as much as the happiness and rizq was blessed to our family, i can't help getting over the fact that news like 2 and 3 can really get my mood down. Not to mention the anger to some @%@# people reacting to the whole thing. So here's what i can teach you from my humble experience about the world.

You see, we cannot avoid not interacting with other people, or live in a cocoon to prevent the news of the outside world to not affect us. Its useless to even try. It might not affect us directly, but nevertheless we would still feel them. get emotional about them. the best way to handle it is to tolerate. If you can tolerate people, or a situation well, you will not suffer greatly. Of course tolerance has its limits. There are times where you must know when to stand up against something too. Hopefully i will be at my best to show you how it is done sayangs.

To know the palestinians's bravery to set their foot down and stand up against tyranny by staying put to their OWN country (mind you!), is just amazing. The kind of bravery worthy of jannah in a split second. Here i am getting really upset (stock nanges meroyan punyer!) seeing photos of children in blood and men and women not in one piece, just because "some people" don't have a home and find it ok to kill other people's to call their own! pfftt!!! But daddy said to me, while calming me down, that they know what they're in for. and they're more than happy to die defending their own country knowing they'll be meeting Allah and head straight for jannah! For all you know, the minute they were bomb or shot to death, their souls departed, and seeing what's waiting for this mujahids, they'll be like "wow!! this is great! i'm finally here! hey people! you are all missing this! this is waaaaayy better than what's down there on earth!"

Subhanallah! Allahu akbar! To know there's a group of them with spirits praying to be syahadahs on their mission defending palestine, is just too awesome for me. i'm literally in awe and full of tears. Like right now. I had to stop typing because to imagine them willing to do this with such honour and bravery, it transgresses anything that defines courage to me. They are indeed the chosen ones, those palestinians cayang. May Allah bless us the same reward in whatever we can do here with our lives. insyaAllah.

Got to go honey. too emotional to go on blogging. my waterworks' pretty hard!

Our Birth Plan for Maryam

Salam everyone!

Do excuse me for it took awhile for me to update. Had to settle Maryam's aqiqah and also adjusting to handling 2 kids. A new thrill i must admit! hehe.

Alhamdulillah, thank you for your doas, well wishes and kind words regarding my experience in delivering Maryam. it was great to share it with you and may it benefit you to goodness insyaAllah!

So here's to some of your requests who wished to know our birth plan for Maryam's delivery. Kindly take note that i have modified this based on Yusuf's to better suit my needs as i now know what to expect with experience and after more reading. I strongly advise against just copying without knowing. Why? Coz if you're not sure of what YOU want, should a turn of events happened on your big day, you would easily panicked if the doctor coerce you into something that you are not familiar with and not in your birth plan. This might result in consequences that you will regret later from the lack of proper knowledge and the absence of confidence that comes with that knowledge. nauzubillah.

It is true, we are supposedly to be in control more with our own baby's birth. But please do so with ilmu and an open, heart-to-heart discussion with your gynae. As a medical doctor myself, i strongly believe in doing things with adequate knowledge and proper planning. It is with these, can one be confident and calm with one's decision, in any circumstances. Coz that is what this whole hypnobirthing is about right? To birth with confidence and with calmness. These of course coupled with constant doas and prayers for His blessings and help.

So with bismillah, here is our birth plan:

I had another natural birth!

Salam and good day everybody!

Well well well!! It's that time again! I gave birth! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 

So let's get crackin with the birth story shall we?

As an avid hypnobirthing student, we ( yeap hubs and i) were determined to have another natural birth of our baby. But the drawback this time was my previous gynae wouldn't allow me to have a birth plan as extensive as before because of the incident where a medical counsellor succumbed to homebirth from complications.

"But even if i deliver kat hospital? I bukan nak buat kat rumah boss!"

"Sorry fatin. But i can only let you go as far the last time. Come in for appointment and i will explain."

Heartbroken and to cut the story short, i tak jadi pergi lar appointment dia kan. We had to resort to searching for a gynae that would support this birth plan of ours for a natural birth. And we stumbled and decided on Dr Idora from Pantai Bangsar. And i must say during follow ups, the vibes and cooperation we got from her has been awesome. She scanned through our birth plan and just said "Ok! No problem!" Alhamdulillah! Nnt iA i put a post khas for her jer lar ok! Hehehe.

So fast forward to 29th April. I was awakened by a sudden urge to go poo-poo. But when i did go, nothing happened. So ok. The peculiar thing about it was i couldn't find myself standing too long coz i felt "heavy" down there. It was unusual coz it kinda came on and off and i had to sit down to let it pass. I thought it could be braxton hicks coz it was pretty mild. Hubs noticed this but head to work anyways knowing it could be a false alarm. Yusuf was still sleeping, so i decided to make some breakfast first. Even then i started feeling it during memasak tu. But somehow i carried on and yusuf woke up just in time to eat them.

So after eating, i decided to do the usual which is to shower and bathe yusuf as well. Since the sensation is still there, I decided to time it. And guess what, the pattern fits the 511 code!! (One surge lasting 5 mins for 1 hour). But the difference was that it felt more like mengeras, not like the pretty obvious surges i felt masa Yusuf dulu and there was no show too. I whatsapped hubs telling him about it and siap emailed my contraction tracker. And he was like "wow! I should head home right?" At that point i didn't really know what to answer coz i worry it would be a false alarm coz tak berapa sakit and kesian if cuti dia wasted. BOLEH TAKK??!!

Anyways he got home another hour later and i got yusuf ready. This time is about nearly 11am and i sempat did solat Dhuha to ask for His blessings. I waited at home sitting on one of the birth balls i have (i got 2 of diff sizes btw!) as it provides me comfort coz I'm pretty used to using them. In the car, nearing the hosp, the sensation got slightly intense so i thot haaa ok jugaklar pergi hospital ni. We arrived in the labour room about 12pm, but sampai jer for initial assessment, the thing mcm slowly dissappeared and the nurse mcm tak convince i was in labour so they didn't alert the doctor in case CTG showed no active signs and i could be discharged back home. I pun was calmly talking to the nurse and they macam tak rasa i was having labour pain. Plus, initially i refused VE (vaginal examination), but after realizing i could be sent back i might as well know if my os is open or not lar kan. I just dont like them VEs!!!

Chronicles of Naa!

I guess i must be quite desperate to admit to be doing this. I finally gave in to the method of "tricking" Yusuf to stop breastfeeding. What he would call "Naa".

At first i was going with the "explaining" method, which has cut down his frequency to just nap time and for sleep. I told him that his time for naa is up for Allah only said it is for 2 years since birth. And since yesterday he turned 2 years 2 months, and that the baby is on the way, i didn't see any improvement of total surrender, thus made me decided (with a heavy heart!) to resort to this idea.

Trust me, the look on his face when i smeared coffee paste on them naas. It must have tasted horrible for he was disgusted! And then he innocently asked me "adik? Adik?" "Yes sayang, it is now for adik. U don't like it?" "Tutup. Tutup." sambil pulling down my top to cover me. Then he bent down to my tummy and kissed it while calling out "adik!"

Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I yang sedih! I yang nanges!!! Honestly i am the one that finds it hard to part with him from suckling! He tried to distract himself by doing something else but at times he would ask me "naa?" And when i showed it and he saw the coffee paste, he said "dirty! Dirty! No naa. Tutup. Tutup." Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Of course it took him a long while to soothe himself to sleep coz of the sudden "loss" of comfort source. Most of the time he would look lost, doing things just to fill his time or prolong it so that he will tire himself to sleep. Then  there was this one incident where he would throw a tantrum so bad that nothing is soothing him! And he has never cried that frantically! To which i surrendered and gave him. And he calmed down and slept immediately. It's like seeing someone who is having smoking withdrawal symptoms! Tak tentu arah betul! Dasyhat!!!

Mana taknyer. Naa was EVERYTHING to him since he came out to this world. And i mean EVERYTHING. Nak tido naa. Lapar naa. Baring manja2 naa. During our holiday trip to London last year was an obvious example. He was enjoying himself simply because he was carried around in the jumpsac carrier MOST of the time with me and his face was just inches away from my boobs. So technically that's like freeflow starbucks if you must! Nak jer, bukak and feed. While walking, on the tube, during my meals. Like anytime, anywhere!

False alarms!

Salam everybody!

Last week thursday morning, i was surprised with strong Braxton Hicks! i actually thought, "oh wow! is the baby coming already?" I guess you can tell i was pretty nervous this time! Coz if ikut EDD (not that i ikut lar kan), it will be about 20 days earlier. Plus, my gynae was away on a holiday that week! Had to somehow pujuk baby if she really think it's time and best to come out without our gynae around. But then i realized, we needed God more than our gynae lar kan. She had told me she will have a replacement colleague to cover for her should i be in labour then. Whatever it is, it is His help and blessings that we want on the big day. If He says it's better without my gynae around but with a replacement, mesti lar ok jugak kan? End up mesti yakin with His decision after the countless doas and berserah to Him for the best outcome. So i started to calm down and re-explained to baby that it is ok either way. And that we (mommy, daddy and abang Yusuf) will be ready for her regardless. It made me feel a lot better and i actually got excited!

But somehow, the false surges subsided by evening. phew! hehe. so it wasn't that day after all! bukan apa. Masa tu lar start thinking about my baby bag and that it was not completely ready. But now it is, thanks to baby! hehe you got daddy to do most of the packing plak tu! Clever girllll help mommy! heheheeh!

Anyways, went for my check up last Wednesday and was told baby is doing great in there! And i also informed my gynae regarding the thursday incident and she told me she actually cancelled her trip to Istanbul! simply because she had quite a number of mommies delivering that week and it didn't feel right for her to leave them to another doctor. Talk about dedication! Awesome ok! and still a blessing for us coz maybe she would have been too busy to attend to us ker kan? hehehe. Alhamdulillah. Whatever happened, it has happened for the best. This has got to be the millionth time to remind me that I am in no control whatsoever of my situations and that Allah ALWAYS KNOWS BEST! haih nak kena smack on the face banyak2 kali whenever i start stressing out or worry excessively about the future! degil betul!

So doc said her head is already engaged so it's gonna be anytime soon. But she still gave me 2 weeks appointment should  baby decides to be cozy in there for a little while more. Mommy ok jer k! heheehe.

Till then peeps! Don't forget me in your doas if i happen to be in your thoughts! i pun nak kena maximize my "preggy-mom-doas" sementara belom beranak lagi ni! Kan doa ibu mengandung mustajab? hehe. insyaAllah i will include most of you that i know! It's been advised to not be kedekut to make doa for other people, coz it will have a ping-pong/boomerang effect back at you! And yang paling best is that His mercy for you yang rajin doakan orang lain, will increase! siapa tak nak kannn?! I nak!!! ;) 

Nesting project: Cot-turned-desk!

Salam everyone!

Remember i pointed out that my nesting mode was in overdrive with home decor stuff? well, guess what! I managed to siapkan one of them and I am really really thrilled!!!

Presenting.........

Yusuf and adik's cot-turned-desk!!!

Best kaaaaaannnn??!! It was adapted from this creative idea shared by my one of my GFs through a whatsapp conversation. Nampak jer terus my brain went TING TING TINNGGG!!!!

The idea! Thanks aunty nasireen!!!

Since i have been trying to sell this cot (like forever!) and did not find any buyer, i thought this idea was just awesome!!! So here's roughly what i did to modify it and the cost:

1. A plywood: preferably thick and not those thin, unpolished planks where you can get selumbar coming out of them.

Black is indeed a great colour if you don't want your kids' artistic scribbles be seen permanently on the desk. Initially to buy this was expensive coz they don't sell in that particular size. so you have to buy a big one and have it remodeled to the size you want and it is quite costly. Luckily, rezeki we all murah that the handyman we asked to help us found a piece and modified it himself to fit the cot at a much cheaper price! So to have a good handyman is essential too ok peeps! :)

So this piece of wood cost us: RM30! Alhamdulillah!

2. Ikea accessories. Now u know why Ikea is my fave mall at the moment! 

The stuff bought for this project are:

- MAMUT series chair: RM39.90

- Wall pockets: RM19.90

3. Magnetic whiteboard from AEON: RM29.90

Total expenditure for cot-turned-desk project: RM120!

Not bad eh?!! Honestly if the plywood was as expensive as the uncle said we had to buy, the cost would have probably tripled. Plus the accessories tu mmg up to you on what you need for your kids' stationary set. Now i'm thinking of adding a notice board to cover the 'lopong' side of the cot! hehehe. Gotta love this upcycling/recycling thingy! Alasan kannn! Mommy dia yang excited lebih! InsyaAllah nanti adik keluar and dah besar sikit tambah lagi satu Mamut chair tu. They got one in pink ok! Saja jer kan! ;P

Till then!