what's on your mind?

Okay.

Follow up from my previous post, alhamdulillah the bubba is doing pretty well. altho there were some "accidents" of "oops!" and "oh no's!", but it was tolerable. so far lar! He actually insist on not wearing the diaper during nap and sleep time! tu yg i tak larat and kinda not giving in to the request. hehehe. pengsan kot nak wash tilam jer!

As for little baby maryam, (whose not so little anymore!) i felt 2 budding teeth on her lower jaw yesterday! yeaaaaayyy! a few more and you can start eating solids okay? but for now tunggu dull yea cayang! oh yes! i insist to still follow what i have done with Yusuf the last time. May He continue to help me in this iA.

okay laar. nothing else to post sangat, coz I'm sorta listening to a youtube video while the bubbas are napping away! hehehe. oh but do enjoy these next pictures of what i have been up to the past few weeks. and yes, it's all about fooooodddd!

Current activity! buat fruit cake!!!

2nd attempt and jadi mA! dari tak berapa suka jadi suka! hehe

as you can see, this steamer is my current best friend!

saja-saja try!

mee rebus ya'll! 

Lontong and sambal tumis ya'll!

Nasi Ayam ya'll! 

haaaa ni mmg confirm i tak buat! mesti terperanjat uolls if i did!
Saja letak coz i want one now!

Dear baby girl...

Salam my dearest Maryam.

You're only about to enter the 3rd month of your life here on earth. and so many things have happened around you, be it good or bad. As of right now, these are the things that have been taking over my timeline:

1. Final nights of Ramadhan

2. Gaza under attack

3. ANOTHER MAS tragedy

Not in timeline:

4. Your first trip overseas. Singapore still counts sayang.

5. Uncle Farid got engaged

And that doesn't include the transition of your beloved brother Yusuf to becoming the now-accepting and loving brother to you. I'm glad coz i don't think i can handle anymore of his jealous streaks and tantrums before. i know you're loving his smothering and kisses right?

Well as much as the happiness and rizq was blessed to our family, i can't help getting over the fact that news like 2 and 3 can really get my mood down. Not to mention the anger to some @%@# people reacting to the whole thing. So here's what i can teach you from my humble experience about the world.

You see, we cannot avoid not interacting with other people, or live in a cocoon to prevent the news of the outside world to not affect us. Its useless to even try. It might not affect us directly, but nevertheless we would still feel them. get emotional about them. the best way to handle it is to tolerate. If you can tolerate people, or a situation well, you will not suffer greatly. Of course tolerance has its limits. There are times where you must know when to stand up against something too. Hopefully i will be at my best to show you how it is done sayangs.

To know the palestinians's bravery to set their foot down and stand up against tyranny by staying put to their OWN country (mind you!), is just amazing. The kind of bravery worthy of jannah in a split second. Here i am getting really upset (stock nanges meroyan punyer!) seeing photos of children in blood and men and women not in one piece, just because "some people" don't have a home and find it ok to kill other people's to call their own! pfftt!!! But daddy said to me, while calming me down, that they know what they're in for. and they're more than happy to die defending their own country knowing they'll be meeting Allah and head straight for jannah! For all you know, the minute they were bomb or shot to death, their souls departed, and seeing what's waiting for this mujahids, they'll be like "wow!! this is great! i'm finally here! hey people! you are all missing this! this is waaaaayy better than what's down there on earth!"

Subhanallah! Allahu akbar! To know there's a group of them with spirits praying to be syahadahs on their mission defending palestine, is just too awesome for me. i'm literally in awe and full of tears. Like right now. I had to stop typing because to imagine them willing to do this with such honour and bravery, it transgresses anything that defines courage to me. They are indeed the chosen ones, those palestinians cayang. May Allah bless us the same reward in whatever we can do here with our lives. insyaAllah.

Got to go honey. too emotional to go on blogging. my waterworks' pretty hard!

Our Birth Plan for Maryam

Salam everyone!

Do excuse me for it took awhile for me to update. Had to settle Maryam's aqiqah and also adjusting to handling 2 kids. A new thrill i must admit! hehe.

Alhamdulillah, thank you for your doas, well wishes and kind words regarding my experience in delivering Maryam. it was great to share it with you and may it benefit you to goodness insyaAllah!

So here's to some of your requests who wished to know our birth plan for Maryam's delivery. Kindly take note that i have modified this based on Yusuf's to better suit my needs as i now know what to expect with experience and after more reading. I strongly advise against just copying without knowing. Why? Coz if you're not sure of what YOU want, should a turn of events happened on your big day, you would easily panicked if the doctor coerce you into something that you are not familiar with and not in your birth plan. This might result in consequences that you will regret later from the lack of proper knowledge and the absence of confidence that comes with that knowledge. nauzubillah.

It is true, we are supposedly to be in control more with our own baby's birth. But please do so with ilmu and an open, heart-to-heart discussion with your gynae. As a medical doctor myself, i strongly believe in doing things with adequate knowledge and proper planning. It is with these, can one be confident and calm with one's decision, in any circumstances. Coz that is what this whole hypnobirthing is about right? To birth with confidence and with calmness. These of course coupled with constant doas and prayers for His blessings and help.

So with bismillah, here is our birth plan:

I had another natural birth!

Salam and good day everybody!

Well well well!! It's that time again! I gave birth! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 

So let's get crackin with the birth story shall we?

As an avid hypnobirthing student, we ( yeap hubs and i) were determined to have another natural birth of our baby. But the drawback this time was my previous gynae wouldn't allow me to have a birth plan as extensive as before because of the incident where a medical counsellor succumbed to homebirth from complications.

"But even if i deliver kat hospital? I bukan nak buat kat rumah boss!"

"Sorry fatin. But i can only let you go as far the last time. Come in for appointment and i will explain."

Heartbroken and to cut the story short, i tak jadi pergi lar appointment dia kan. We had to resort to searching for a gynae that would support this birth plan of ours for a natural birth. And we stumbled and decided on Dr Idora from Pantai Bangsar. And i must say during follow ups, the vibes and cooperation we got from her has been awesome. She scanned through our birth plan and just said "Ok! No problem!" Alhamdulillah! Nnt iA i put a post khas for her jer lar ok! Hehehe.

So fast forward to 29th April. I was awakened by a sudden urge to go poo-poo. But when i did go, nothing happened. So ok. The peculiar thing about it was i couldn't find myself standing too long coz i felt "heavy" down there. It was unusual coz it kinda came on and off and i had to sit down to let it pass. I thought it could be braxton hicks coz it was pretty mild. Hubs noticed this but head to work anyways knowing it could be a false alarm. Yusuf was still sleeping, so i decided to make some breakfast first. Even then i started feeling it during memasak tu. But somehow i carried on and yusuf woke up just in time to eat them.

So after eating, i decided to do the usual which is to shower and bathe yusuf as well. Since the sensation is still there, I decided to time it. And guess what, the pattern fits the 511 code!! (One surge lasting 5 mins for 1 hour). But the difference was that it felt more like mengeras, not like the pretty obvious surges i felt masa Yusuf dulu and there was no show too. I whatsapped hubs telling him about it and siap emailed my contraction tracker. And he was like "wow! I should head home right?" At that point i didn't really know what to answer coz i worry it would be a false alarm coz tak berapa sakit and kesian if cuti dia wasted. BOLEH TAKK??!!

Anyways he got home another hour later and i got yusuf ready. This time is about nearly 11am and i sempat did solat Dhuha to ask for His blessings. I waited at home sitting on one of the birth balls i have (i got 2 of diff sizes btw!) as it provides me comfort coz I'm pretty used to using them. In the car, nearing the hosp, the sensation got slightly intense so i thot haaa ok jugaklar pergi hospital ni. We arrived in the labour room about 12pm, but sampai jer for initial assessment, the thing mcm slowly dissappeared and the nurse mcm tak convince i was in labour so they didn't alert the doctor in case CTG showed no active signs and i could be discharged back home. I pun was calmly talking to the nurse and they macam tak rasa i was having labour pain. Plus, initially i refused VE (vaginal examination), but after realizing i could be sent back i might as well know if my os is open or not lar kan. I just dont like them VEs!!!